All That's Left
by SortItOut
Summary: Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensues. Chapter 6 is up. Complete.
1. Glory Fades

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **Alright brand new fic. This is a bit of a departure from my other fics. It's has a bit more angst and a smutty quality to it, I suppose. Nothing too graphic but enough to warrant the "M". I guess that's just my general warning to you all. It's intended to be a multipart fic, and I really like where this thing is going but I am not so sure anyone else will so either way please let me know what ya think. This could be considered AU sort of basically in this fic Luke and Lorelai never got back together after they broke up and now its summer. So anything after Say Something didn't happen. Oh and Rory is in New York for a summer internship. She isn't really a focus of this story so its easier if she is away. Oh and lil side note chapter ones title is inspired by the _Brand New_ song with the same name.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensue.

**Chapter 1 _"Glory Fades":_**

A light breeze blew in the crisp air as puffy white clouds filled the sky. The bright sun made everything twinkle and shine, and the sounds of blue birds melodically chirping provided the soundtrack to a perfect summer's day. Lorelai walked briskly through the center of town and failed to notice any of it.

In the four months since Lorelai's last break up she had fallen into a pretty steady routine. She got up every morning at 7 am on the dot. This was no longer the chore it once was because for Lorelai sleep wasn't the luxurious thing it used to be. Now sleeping was just something that had to be done. She had to lay down every night and try to sleep. Try being the operative word because every night was the same exact scenario. She would lay on her pillow exhausted from a long day and will sleep to come. Instead, her mind would go on and on about the same thing, the same man, and the many alternate ways her life could be going if she hadn't screwed everything up so royally. No matter how many sheep she counted, or how many episodes of _Happy Days_ she tried to replay in her head, night after night he haunted her. During the day she could find a million things to divert her attention but night time was the only time where her mind forced her to dwell on the man that got away. Even after she would finally fall asleep he was the star of everyone of her stomach knotting dreams.

So Lorelai would wake up eager to get out of bed and away from her thoughts. She would get ready and go to Weston's for her morning caffeine fix. From there she headed to the Inn and lost herself in guests, and pillow mint emergencies. Then after a long day, she would come back home later than was really necessary and order take out. She would watch The Daily Show and Conan and anything else to distract her from sleeping, until she could no longer prolong going to bed. Eventually the next day would start and her routine began again. Everyday of the week it was the same thing, the exact same routine with very little variation. A few things did mix it up. There was the occasional call from Rory, where Lorelai would find something to babble on about so that Rory would know she was doing okay. For Sookie's sake she would also take the occasional weekend trip to Al's Pancake World or Weston's for lunch or dinner. She did this just so she could honestly tell Sookie she still went out, and hadn't become the dreaded spinster on the couch. Lorelai never mentioned to her daughter or her best friend her sleepless nights. She failed to tell them that after months of trying to get over it, the best she could manage was to be a dulled numbed version of the vivacious person she used to be.

This particular Saturday was host to one of her Al's Pancake World field trips. She skillfully made her way past Luke's diner without a second glance. This was also a part of her routine. She would remind herself she was a strong woman with her own business and a beautiful daughter and she was not going to be the girl who glanced longingly at what she could no longer have.

The second she stepped into Al's she wished she would have glanced a little harder at the diner. She was utterly shocked to see Luke himself at a table in the corner of Al's, intently reading a paper and drinking an iced tea. Lorelai was pretty sure she had stepped into some kind of alternate universe. Luke hated Al's, and going out, and going out to Al's. What in the world was he doing there? And since when did he not work at the diner on a Saturday afternoon? And since when did he read the New York Times? Her mind was racing, her heart was palpitating, and she was praying he hadn't seen her. Lorelai had successfully managed to avoid him for months. She always had a slight fear every time she went grocery shopping that she might run into him, but it never happened. But now here he was in Al's of all places. Here he was in his blue baseball cap, his soft flannel shirt, his days old stubble, and his Luke presence was effectively sucking all the air out of the room.

Lorelai decided quickly that she needed to get out of there before he noticed her. She knew that she was not on his list of favorite people anymore. She also knew that even a short conversation with that man would haunt her even more then she already was at night.

As Lorelai was about to turn around she heard her name being called.

"Lorelai," Luke called to her in that deep gravely voice that she had missed so much.

_"Shit." _Lorelai whispered quietly, so much for avoiding this particularly awkward situation. Now she had to go over to him and play the we are grown ups and lets be civil even though we broke each others hearts game. Yeah, that game sucked.

"Oh hey Luke," Lorelai said as went and stood by Luke's table. "What are you doing here?"

Luke ignored her question. "Sit down."

"Okay." Lorelai said uncomfortably. She tentatively sat in the seat across from Luke's.

"So it's been a while. How are you doing?" Luke asked casually.

Far too casually for Lorelai's liking. Who the hell was this guy? What happened to the monosyllabic guy who avoided small talk at all costs? The Luke she had known for years.

"Things, things are good." Lorelai said with a strange hitch in her voice.

Luke noticed how visibly nervous Lorelai was. She probably hadn't had the same experience with this sort of thing that he had. If Rachel had shown him one thing with all of her leaving and coming back it was how to be calm on the outside while inside you were a complete mess. It was like his dad always used to tell him, "Lucas, never let them see you sweat." He wasn't going to be immature and ignore her, instead he was going to be cool, calm, and collected.

Luke was a master at pretending. Pretending Lorelai hadn't ripped out his heart. Pretending his lack of customers at the diner wasn't because of his surly attitude. Pretending he didn't need anyone or anything. Pretending that he was enough and having other people in your life was unnecessary. Luke could pretend his ass off when he had to.

"That's good, how is Rory, and the Inn?" Luke asked. He could pretend to be fine with everything that happened between them as well. He would never give away how hurt he was and how much he missed her.

"Both good," Lorelai said still bewildered by this turn of events. "Mind if I ask what you are doing here? I thought you hated Al's?"

"Yeah well things change." Luke said in a tone that didn't just mean his choice of eating establishments.

"They do at that." Lorelai returned with a slight shake of her head. She knew it was probably her turn to ask a question but her eyes were focused on his hands, His calloused big hands. She always thought that he had amazing hands. If she could concentrate hard enough she could still feel the way her skin burned at the lightest touch of his hands.

"So how are things with you?" Lorelai finally asked tearing her eyes away from Luke's hands. She desperately hoped he didn't notice the blush that was surely rising in her cheeks.

Luke looked into her eyes as she spoke, and thought about how beautiful she was when she was nervous. Who the hell was he kidding, she was always beautiful. Piercing eyes, full lips, immaculate skin, she was beauty personified. Without knowing it both Luke and Lorelai silently wished for pretty much the same thing. They wished that all that mattered was her beauty and his hands and what happened when those things collided.

"Same as always," Luke shrugged. He wasn't going to tell her that after four months he still couldn't get over what happened. That for all his pretending he couldn't get past that fact that she had lied to him. Sometimes late at night he would miss her terribly and he would mentally try to forgive her for everything that happened at that awful wedding. The problem was that he never quite succeeded. Images of Christopher and her family danced in his head. They reminded him that he wasn't enough for her, and she didn't even care enough to be honest with him. For a long time she was the only one he truly trusted. And for Luke trust wasn't something that came easily, and it hardly ever came back after it had been broken. He also wasn't about to let her in on the fact that despite all his inner demons he still longed for her, and how conflicted that made his head and his heart.

"Well, I guess not everything changes then." Lorelai sardonically noted. She looked at Luke with his day's old stubble, and his bright blue eyes, and her heart twisted. She was the closest she had been to him in months and she had never missed him more then at that particular moment.

"Yeah, I guess." Luke said noncommittally.

"And the diner is doing well?" Lorelai asked trying to keep focused.

"Diner's fine. People always need to eat. You should come by sometime." Luke said without really knowing what he was saying.

"I should." Lorelai said. Her tone was somewhere between a question and a statement.

"Yeah, we might not have worked out but that doesn't mean..." Luke trailed off. He had been trying to avoid bringing up the subject of them but had slipped without meaning too.

"Yeah, well, maybe. I should probably be going. I will let you read in peace." As Lorelai spoke she felt a distinct shift in the air. She didn't know what was going on but the way Luke was talking to her coupled with the look in his eyes was making her more and more panicked.

"You just got here." Luke reasoned.

"Yeah, well I decided I am not so hungry anymore. You know us girls always changing are minds." Lorelai lamely tried to joke.

"Well, I am about ready to go myself. I will walk you out." Luke responded. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He just knew he wanted to prolong being with Lorelai even if it was just for a second longer.

"Okay." Lorelai said quietly. She wasn't sure what was happening. She wasn't so sure she wanted to stop whatever fate was seemingly bringing to her.

* * *

The drive to Lorelai's house had been completely silent. Lorelai wasn't even sure when she had agreed to let Luke drive her home. All she knew was she had driven home in Luke's truck, and the entire way home the truck was filled with a powerful unbreakable tension. For some reason she knew that this tension was not one that would be diffused with words, so she had remained uncharacteristically silent. Now to add to the weird factor Luke hadn't just dropped her off, he was walking her to her front door. Luke and Lorelai both independently noted that this day seemed to be spinning rapidly out of control for both of them.

Lorelai jumbled around with her keys. The task of opening her front door had never been so hard. She could feel Luke's intense gaze on her and it was literally making her shaky. Finally with a bit of effort she managed to get the front door open. She quickly turned around and was face to face with Luke.

"Thanks for the ride." She whispered.

Then before either one of them knew what was happening their lips were on each others. Luke didn't know if he had started the kiss or if she had and that's about as far as his head went before all he could do was focus on nothing but Lorelai.

They stumbled inside kissing each other wildly. Lorelai managed to kick the door closed while she grabbed on to Luke flannel for support. His lips crushed hers, putting everything into their kisses. The love, pain, desire, hurt, anger, and need that neither one knew how to express with words. Some where in the back of Lorelai's head she knew this might not be the greatest idea but for the first time in months she felt alive and for the moment that's all she needed. He was all she needed.

Luke's baseball cap was the first item of clothing to hit the ground. Then Lorelai began to furiously unbutton Luke's flannel shirt. Once she slipped it off of him, Luke returned the favor and pulled Lorelai's shirt over her head tossing it on the staircase. Luke then swiftly moved to remove Lorelai's bra. She was pretty sure that she had heard the distinct sound of material tearing in his fevered effort to remove the article from her body. She tried to muster up some sense of caring but once she felt Luke's lips on her body all else was forgotten. Lorelai stared into Luke's eyes for a moment while she pressed her hips into his. She grabbed his hands and pinned them to his sides. She could feel how ready he was for her and she knew after months apart she was just as prepared. She went back in towards his mouth and teased his lips for a moment before biting his lip a little harder then necessary. There was some not so nice part of her wanting him to feel the pain she caused. He was as always giving as good as he got. He released his hands from hers and then grabbed her wrists. He lifted them above her head and pressed himself into her with more force propelling her to hit the wall with a thud. Lorelai reached between them and fumbled only slightly before unbuttoning and unzipping Luke's pants. She briefly looked upstairs towards her bedroom.

"The bedroom." She moaned.

"To hell with the bedroom." Luke grunted as he pushed her skirt up to her waist and shifted himself closer to her. He needed this; he needed her right there, right now.

"The couch?" She questioned looking towards her living room and noticing it was closer.

"To hell with that too." Luke whispered as he haphazardly moved her underwear to the side and quickly thrust himself inside of her.

Lorelai moaned piercingly as a rush of sensations hit her. Luke gave her just a second to acclimate before he once again began to push inside of her.

"This works too." She gasped.

Lorelai wrapped her arms around Luke's neck to steady herself as his pace increased. She forcefully brought her mouth to his and immediately Lips, tongues, and teeth intertwined. They were both flooded with sensation and completely in the moment. Lorelai legs hitched higher and higher up Luke's body and soon Luke could do nothing but let himself go. His hard release put her over the edge and Lorelai shrieked Luke's name as her mind went pleasantly blank.

After getting his bearings back Luke untangled himself from a completely astonished Lorelai. When Luke let her go Lorelai slowly slid down the icy cold wall she had been against. Luke looked at her and then moved to the side of her allowing himself to feel the freezing wall on his sweaty back while he settled down next to her.

He put an arm around Lorelai and she put her head on his shoulder. For a few minutes neither of then spoke. Neither of them knew what to say. Finally Lorelai broke the silence.

"That was um…unexpected." Lorelai finally whispered.

"That it was." Luke said focusing intently on some spot in the living room. "Lorelai, I don't know if I can, I mean so much has, I didn't mean to…" He started not even completely sure where he was going with it.

Lorelai knew exactly what he was trying to say, and it killed her.

"Luke, I know." Lorelai whispered sadly before removing her head from his shoulder.

"I should probably go." Luke said as he got up from the wall and began to gather his clothes.

"Or you could stay." Lorelai hoped she didn't sound as desperate as she felt. She didn't want him to leave. She knew what it meant if he left and she didn't know if she could handle the repercussions.

As Luke rezipped his pants Lorelai suddenly felt very naked. She smoothed her skirt back down and reached on to the bottom stair for her shirt. She quickly threw it back on never leaving her position on the wall.

He was staring at her intently as if choosing his words very carefully.

"Well, I really should check on the diner." He finally settled on saying.

"Oh." Lorelai disappointedly sighed. "Okay."

"Back to reality," Luke said with a heavy sigh. As he buttoned up his flannel shirt and placed his cap back on his head.

"Yeah, back to reality." Lorelai said unconsciously hugging herself tightly. She was fighting desperately to keep the tears out of her eyes.

Luke opened the front door and turned back towards Lorelai.

"Lorelai, I wish…" Luke trailed off.

She knew what he meant. She wished it too. Wished things were different. Wished that what they had just done changed something.

"I know Luke me too." Lorelai quietly uttered.

"I'll call you." He said quietly as he slipped out the door.

The door seemed to slam with finality and Lorelai could no longer manage to keep her tears at bay.

She wiped furiously at her face as the tears came in a steady stream. Finally, she got up from the wall and made her way upstairs. She knew one thing for sure she definitely wasn't numb anymore, but she wasn't sure this was any better. She made her way into the bathroom and undressed once again.

She turned the hot water on fully and stepped into the steaming shower. The water scalded her skin and she welcomed the burn. Her mind began to drift to what had happened downstairs. It was so unexpected, but she had needed Luke and he had needed her too that was evident. However, she knew with just as much certainty that what had transpired was not a _'lets get back together'_ kind of event. She tired to come to some sort of decision about what exactly had happened. Okay she knew _what _had happened, she would probably have a bruised back to show for it, but she needed something on a more philosophical level. It was hard to wrap her mind around because everything seemed foggy to Lorelai. She felt like the steam of the shower was swallowing her whole. She felt foggy inside her head, and saw the fog literally surround her body. She tried to concentrate on what had transpired. She knew it was impulsive, and great, and stupid, and when Luke had said he would call her, he was just being polite. However, she also knew she had missed Luke so much and four months of being without him was changing her in ways she hated. She also couldn't shake the slightly dirty feeling she had. What her and Luke had done felt illicit and that was something she had never really experienced with him before. She didn't know what the hell to do. So she just let the steam of shower fill her up, and just like when she was trying to sleep, she futilely attempted to will her mind to concentrate on that one really funny episode of _Happy Days._

* * *

Outside of Lorelai house Luke sat in his truck staring blankly ahead. He felt simultaneously invigorated and disgusted with himself. What in the hell had just happened back there? Well, he knew exactly what happened back there, but he just felt like it couldn't possibly have been him who had done it. He wasn't a love them and leave them kind of guy. He was also not the kind of guy who said the phrase _"love them and leave them" _clearly he was going insane.

Luke didn't know what to do. He simply didn't know how to forgive Lorelai for what she had done, and at the same time he simply didn't know how to live without her. He knew that those two facts combined were how they had reached this particular point. He wished he knew what the hell he could do about any of it.

He finally managed to turn the key in the ignition and at the very least leave Lorelai's house behind him.


	2. The Sound of Settling

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate every last one of them. Please continue to let me know what you think, it makes all the difference. Here is chapter two, and the news begins to spread. The chapter two title comes from _A Death Cab for Cutie_ song.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensue.

**Chapter 2 _"The Sound of Settling":_**

Her back is against the wall. His hands are everywhere. Their lips are intertwining, drowning out the millions of doubts that dance in their heads. Their journey to the bed is instinctual. It's only when the sides of their knees brush against the bed that they realize they were in motion. Before he knows what's happening they are both undressed. Before she knows what's happening she is being tossed on to the bed. The tingles of the reverberating bounce heighten the millions of sensations already pulsating throughout her body. He is on top of her. She is filled, flooded with feeling. His weight is a comfort. She is on top of him. Her hair surrounds her face. The tendrils graze his cheek, his chest. She is a comfort. Their bodies are mixing, melting together. It's urgent; it's exciting, heavy breathing, a roughness, a frenzy of skin, a blur. It is far too much and way too little all at once. Finally they break apart exhausted and satisfied. The comfort has vanished, it is over.

Rolling over to her side of the bed Lorelai presses her head deep into the pillow. Reality is seeping back into her cloudy head and the only thing her brain can manage to come up with is the phrase, _Oh My God. _She can't believe it had happened again. She and Luke had happened again. After the last time it was like they couldn't help themselves. She didn't know what to do. Nothing had changed. She began to think the only answer was not allowing them to be in the same room together. They were like a stick of dynamite and a BIC lighter, or smoking a cigarette in a puddle of gasoline, or an oil soaked rope and match, or a candle and some hairspray. She was running out of weird metaphors but the basic sentiment was, put them together and watch them combust. Before they had been in a relationship Lorelai had become a master at repressing whatever the spark was between the two of them. Now apparently post relationship she couldn't even be in the same super market as him without ending up in his bed.

She had resigned herself to the fact that what had happened two weeks ago was a one shot deal. A weird type of closure, a _bonus night _as Ross and Rachel had once so succinctly put it. But, nothing had been settled. Nothing was resolved and here she was again. There was no denying it. She was sweaty, naked, and in his bed. It most certainly had happened again.

While at times over the weeks she had blamed Luke for their first little escapade, she knew this time it was all her. It was like a big fat cosmic joke running into Luke's at Doose's earlier that night. When she first saw him she had tried desperately to be casual. She tried to mimic his display that Saturday at Al's. She said hello. She pretended they hadn't had mind blowing sex a few weeks before. She pretended she couldn't still feel the burn of his lips every time she allowed her eyes to close. She put on the outward appearance that she was completely laid-back and relaxed. It was a good thing he couldn't hear her heart beating so loudly that it was reverberating in her ears. He also couldn't feel her stomach contort and her pulse quicken. If he had her whole casual bit would have gone right out the window.

Luke had been suitably dumbfounded at the display. When he saw her at Doose's his mind went through a couple of scenarios of what might happen. He had pictured her ignoring him, or maybe yelling at him for not calling. Hell, he would have even been okay if she walked up to him and punched him in the face. Maybe he deserved it. When he first caught sight of her he had grimaced. He was bracing himself for at the very least a verbal onslaught, if not a physical one. He was positively not prepared for calm indifference that she had radiated.

Lorelai tried to remember how they ended up in his apartment. She had said hello, he had said it back. Lorelai had purchased her must have items, a bottle of coke, a box of _Red Vines_, and pack of that new citrus gum. Luke had ended up right behind her in line. After all they were the last two customers of the night. They had walked out of the place together and suddenly Lorelai didn't want him to go. So she blurted out the first thing she could think of in order to spend a little more time with him. Thinking back, she couldn't quite remember what she had said she might have left at his apartment. The farthest she could get in her mind was that she knew whatever it was started with an S. Maybe she had said shirt, or scarf, or skirt, or Smith's CD, or Salamander she couldn't really be sure. Although, she was pretty certain she hadn't said salamander. Luke had effectively clouded her head to the point where she could barely remember her own name, let alone the reason she was once again in his bed.

Luke didn't know what to say. How had this happened again? Sure it had been amazing. She was amazing, but this wasn't fair to her or to him. After their first encounter he had gone back to the diner and tried to figure out what the hell had happened. He was so lost and he could barely stand the man he was becoming. He had always been a cut and dry, black and white kind of guy. Things were right or they were wrong. You were a good guy or bad guy. He and Lorelai were broken up or they were together. Everything should be plain and simple. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that the situation he found himself in was so grey. For a moment he thought it could be simple if he would let it be, if she wanted it to be. He could just forgive her and they could get back together. He knew that would calm the constant ache in his chest. But then again an aching heart was one thing. Luke knew how to live with the ache. He could still function day to day with an ache. A completely broken heart on the other hand, he didn't think he could handle another one of those. Each disappointment in his life, each person who had let him down, or left him, or both, left a scar on his heart. He assumed by now his heart was full of scars and if Lorelai made another mark it would be the one that lead to its collapse.

To put it mildly Luke had been through a lot in his life. Some where deep in his mind he knew this was why he wasn't good at forgiving and forgetting. His mom had died when he was still so young. After her death she had left behind a few intangible things. One had been the first scar on his heart. Another was giving Luke a childlike idealized version of what the perfect woman was. The third was how he saw his father. He had always seen his dad as two men. His dad had been one man with his wife and a completely different man without her. Luke saw what his dad went through after losing his mom as the ultimate consequence of love. From then on, it had been a steady stream of disappointments and loss in Luke's life. None of that had to do with Lorelai really, but maybe somewhere subconsciously it did. He didn't know anymore. He briefly wished that he hadn't given Jess that stupid book.

He did know one thing and was that things had been the way they were for the last four months for a reason. She had hurt him and he had gotten out before she had the chance to do it again. Then again here he was lying next to her. So obviously he hadn't gotten out and maybe he didn't want to be out. Could he really picture a life without even the possibility of Lorelai in it?

He was thinking in circles and getting no where. Apparently he needed her in his life. He didn't seem to be strong enough to be completely without her. On the other hand he didn't know how to let himself be with her entirely again. So that left him lying next to her, no quiet banter like when they were together, no holding each other close. It was more intricate then it had ever been before. He hated it.

His eyes began to drift shut. His body was exhausted. His mind was rapidly catching up. He really needed to_ talk_ to Lorelai. He knew as much as he detested _"talking_" as in talking about feelings and relationships and all other things he deemed girly that it really needed to be done. He would just close his eyes for just a minute. Then he would find the nerve to speak up and settle whatever was happening between them.

The clouds were lifting from Lorelai's head. Her thoughts were becoming more rapid, clearer, and more and more insecure. Maybe, what they had going on right now was enough. Maybe, life was about settling and that whole package was a contrivance. She had messed up. She had not appreciated what she had while she had it. Now, this is what was left. This was all she could have. She could have him in her life like this. Maybe, she didn't get to pick anymore how things went. Maybe, with time things would change. Time would work its magic, heal old wounds, and he might want to be with her again. Until then she could settle for this because she needed him in her life. Eww, she hated herself. She was a strong confident woman and she didn't need him or anyone. She had been telling herself that for months, but her heart didn't seem to be listening. She just needed to talk to him about this. At the same time it was the last thing she wanted to do. She was terrified of what he would say. She was more afraid of what he wouldn't say. If they talked there would be no more maybes, and the maybes were what were keeping her sane.

"Luke," Lorelai timidly whispered. She tugged the sheets tighter to her chest as she waited for a response.

When the room stayed silent Lorelai slowly turned to her side and looked at Luke. He was fast asleep and she hadn't even noticed the sound of his steady breathing until that very moment.

Now Lorelai had another quandary on her hands. She had two options. She could stay with him. Spend the night and in the morning, when the light was much harsher, and his senses had fully returned, she could try and talk to him. Or she could leave now. Try and maintain some sense of dignity. If they were destined to talk about this fate would bring them together again. Or he would call. She would love it if he was the one to call.

She weighed her options. What did she want? What would he want? He hadn't really invited her to stay the night. He hadn't really said much. Was he regretting this? Did he hate her? She didn't know. She didn't want know. With that she slipped out of bed and as quietly as possible gathered her clothes.

**_

* * *

_**

**_3 Day's Later…_**

"So, Lorelai you know what we haven't done in a really long time." Sookie said as she bounced up to the front desk of the Dragon Fly and stood next to Lorelai.

"What, Sookie?" Lorelai said trying to smile at her friend.

"Had some good old fashioned girl talk," Sookie said quickly.

"I guess." Lorelai said slightly taken aback at her friend's exuberance.

"Let's rectify that shall we." Sookie said grabbing Lorelai's wrist and dragging them both into Lorelai's office.

Once they made it in to the room Sookie immediately shut and locked the door.

"I have to say Sookie, You are really starting to freak me out."

"No need to be freaked out. Lets sit, lets dish." Sookie said excitedly. She practically ran to the small sofa in Lorelai's office and plopped down. Lorelai slowly and with a little bit of trepidation sat down next to her.

"So…" Sookie said pointedly.

"So…" Lorelai said confused. "Sookie hun, I don't really know what you want me to say."

"Ya know I just feel like I have been busy lately. Ya know with the new baby and what have you. I just thought maybe you have something you might want to share with me."

Lorelai momentarily panicked. Sookie couldn't possibly know about what had happened with her and Luke, could she have? Hell, they still hadn't talked. Lorelai didn't even know what was going on. She didn't really want anyone to know what had happened because she wasn't so sure it painted her or Luke in the most flattering light. No, Sookie couldn't possibly know, no one knew. She knew she hadn't told anyone. She was sure Luke hadn't said anything because seriously it was Luke. She was overreacting. This was Sookie, she could just be on some kind of soufflé high or something. She didn't know anything.

"Well, Rory might be staying in New York longer then originally planned. They seem to really like her at that paper." Lorelai settled on saying. Rory was always a safe topic of conversation.

"Great, great that's great. Rory is great. Anything else not Rory related?" Sookie probed.

"Um, not off the top of my head." Lorelai said with a question in her voice.

"Nothing man related?"

"Uh not really. What about you, something man related?" Lorelai tried to deflect the focus off of her. She hated lying to Sookie but she reasoned _not really_ wasn't an out and out lie. Maybe, not really was about as accurate and she could be anyway.

"Uh well, Jackson and I are great. Sleep deprived, cause of the kids but still all in love and stuff. That's all that's going on with me. Are you sure you having nothing else to add?" Sookie said with increasingly wide eyes.

"Um I am good. Sookie are you okay, you are little all over the place right now." Lorelai asked.

Finally Sookie couldn't take it anymore. "You are lying!"

"I'm…" Lorelai started but was cut off.

"You and Luke! I saw you! I am your best friend, aren't I? Why are you lying?" Sookie said clearly hurt.

"You saw us." Lorelai said quietly. Lorelai tried to think. She couldn't have seen them last time, nothing had happened until they had been safely in Luke's Apartment. But, that first time it was during the day. It was possible Sookie saw them driving home or on her porch or something she supposed.

"On my porch?" Lorelai said barely above a whisper. She didn't even think she had said it out loud until she heard Sookie's response.

"ON YOUR PORCH?" Sookie yelled incredulously. "I am so far out of the loop, that it is possible that I am in someone else's loop…. How long have you two been back together?"

"We aren't back together." Lorelai said quickly.

"Wait what." Sookie said calming down a bit. "Lorelai, can you please tell me what is going on before I have an aneurism. "

Well she was going to have to tell her. It might be nice to talk to someone one about what was happening and Sookie was right she was her best friend. But first she needed to know something. "I will tell you everything. But first, where did you see Luke and me?"

"I didn't see you and Luke. I saw you. It was a couple of nights ago. It was pretty late and the baby wouldn't sleep. The car always puts her right out. So I was driving around. On my way back I saw you leaving the diner. Let's just say you were rather disheveled. I was so happy, figuring you guys were working things out. I was just waiting for you to tell me yourself, but it's been 3 days and nothing. Now you tell me you aren't together and something happened on your porch. I am so lost." Sookie explained.

Lorelai looked at her friend and an odd sense of relief washed over her as she began to explain to her the events of the last few weeks. Once she was finished she didn't know whether to cry on Sookie's shoulder or share a sardonic _isn't my life great_ laugh with her.

"Wow." Was all Sookie managed at first.

"You're telling me." Lorelai returned.

"This just doesn't seem very Luke like." Sookie commented.

"You are completely right. It isn't like Luke at all. I did this. I took that good man and I made him into this other guy. The only man who was always there for me and for Rory, and I broke his heart. And for what? To keep Chris in some part of my life? To save myself the annoyance of an uncomfortable conversation? Shit, I am such an idiot!"

"You can not seriously be blaming yourself. Not only is what's happened not your fault. You haven't even talked to him. You really don't know what is going on in his head. Maybe, he thinks this is the way to slowly get back together or something." Sookie tried to soothe Lorelai.

"Right cause in the two times this has happened the only things he has said to me were (In her best man voice) _Lorelai, I don't know if I can, I mean so much has, I didn't mean to… _oh and _Lorelai, I wish.."_

"He didn't even finish his sentences." Sookie reasoned.

"Yeah, but all the starts of those sentences end the same way. _Sorry, we are not getting back together. It is what they all scream."_

"You don't know that. Trust me, talk to him and everything will work out for the best." Sookie reassured.

"Right, cause things always go so simply in my life." Lorelai sarcastically stated.

"Aww, Honey." Sookie said as she reached out and gave Lorelai a hug.


	3. I'm Not Okay

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **It took longer then expected but here is chapter 3. This chapter is pretty smut free, but be forewarned the language probably still warrants the M. Oh and I just want to put it out there that I am a happy ending kind of girl. Just have that in mind with this fic because I know there is nothing I hate more than when a fic ends and it's wholly depressing and it doesn't end well and I'm mad at myself for reading it, ha ha. Oh and if you are reading please review. Even a small keep going is nice and makes me happy. Chapter threes title is courtesy of _My Chemical Romance_.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensue.

**Chapter 3 _"I'm Not Okay":_**

"Mom," Rory cried out as she made her way inside her mother's house. "I am home."

"I am in my room." Lorelai yelled back. "Meet me up here!"

"I am on my way." Rory responded. "You know when I came home last summer you practically tackled me. Now you are making me come to you. My how times have changed."

"I would gladly tackle you in 30 minutes when this is over." Lorelai replied her voice echoing through out the house.

Rory laughed at her mom and started to walk towards the staircase. She was taking in everything around her. She was happy to be home. She was happy to know that nothing much had changed since the last time she was here. As her eyes wandered over the contents of her house a blue colored object caught her attention. She quickly went to over to the corner of the room where it was located and went to investigate. She picked the object up as a huge smile made its way to her face.

"Mom…" Rory said again her tone more inquisitive.

"I said come here. I am watching _Desperate Housewives_... They seem really desperate this week. I can't get up." Lorelai jokingly yelled.

Rory practically skipped up the stairs quickly making her way into Lorelai's room. She looked at her mom lying on her bed intently watching the television and chuckled.

Then, Rory threw the blue baseball cap in her hands on to her mother's bed right into Lorelai's line of vision.

"Something you want to tell me?" Rory said the happiness evident in her voice.

Lorelai looked down at the cap, then up at her daughter. Then back down at the cap, and then back up into her daughter's expectant eyes. Not knowing what to do or say she quickly turned off the TV. Lorelai began to inwardly panic. How did Luke forget his hat? That thing was as much a part of him as his legs were. How does one forget their legs? You don't just forget your legs, damn it.

Lorelai looked at Rory who was clearly waiting for an explanation. She had no idea what to say. The last thing she wanted to do was try and explain whatever the hell had been going on between her and Luke.

"That's not… He must have left that here a long time ago." Lorelai quickly tried to cover.

"I have seen him wear this since you two broke up, Mom. Something is going on here. It's written all over your face. Come on tell me what's up." Rory said now slightly confused. If her Mom and Luke were back together that was great news. So why was her mom giving her the runaround?

"It's just not what you think it is." Lorelai tried again.

Rory bounced on the bed next to her mother.

"Mom, come on tell me what's going on. You aren't a very good liar. Why are you trying to lie, anyway? If you are back with Luke that's great! Its more than great it's fantastic…"

"We aren't back together." Lorelai interrupted. She couldn't stand to hear how great and fantastic it would be if they were, especially not from Rory.

"Oh," Rory returned her smile fading.

"Then why is this here?" Rory asked pointing at the hat.

She looked at her daughter with her big blue concerned eyes and couldn't find it in her heart to lie.

"Um well…" Lorelai started. "How do I put this…Okay, remember how you and Logan started out."

"Yeah." Rory said with a nod of her head.

"Well, it's kind of like that." Lorelai tried out.

"Casual? Like you are dating Luke and other people?" Rory asked confused.

"Oh no, It's not like that." Lorelai said quickly. At least it wasn't for her. Oh god, what if Luke was seeing someone else. Okay she couldn't think about that horrific thought right now she needed to focus on Rory.

"Then what is it like, Mom?"

"Um, it's sort of like friends with benefits?" Lorelai delicately tried.

"Friends with benefits?" Rory questioned somewhere between disgusted and concerned.

"Minus the friend's part," Lorelai added sheepishly.

"Oh Mom." Rory responded. "That doesn't seem very Luke like."

"That seems to be the general consensus." Lorelai sadly responded. "Now, can we please watch the end of Desperate Housewives?"

Rory saw the look on her mother's face and decided not to press the issue.

"Sure, scoot over." Rory replied laying down next to her mom in bed.

* * *

A full moon lit up the night sky of Stars Hollow. The air was crisp and cool and Lorelai walked around town with no particular destination in mind. She just thought that she needed fresh air and perspective, and a walk might accomplish both. So far she was half right. The fresh air was nice but perspective wasn't coming as easily as the breathing was. Her earlier conversation with Rory had really gotten to her. Sure her daughter was grown but what kind of example was she setting? When Rory had left to spend the night at Lanes, Lorelai had found the sudden need to be anywhere but at home.

Lorelai looked out in front of her and marveled at how night fall changed the whole look of the town. Everything became so still, so silent, everything looked surreal, almost fake. The trees looked like they were made out of plastic. The buildings looked like cardboard cut outs. And as she looked into the glass window of Weston's she caught her own reflection. She wasn't surprised to see that she resembled a paper doll version of herself. The night's magic had reached her as well.

She kept on her trek until Luke's became clear in her view. She allowed herself a quick glance inside and saw Luke with a rag in his hand idly cleaning the diner's counter. He looked real. He wasn't flimsy and paper. He looked positively normal. For some reason his lack of change made her stomach knot. She wasn't sure if she was angry or depressed or both. She just knew that the night should affect him too. He should show some sign that he was affected, too.

She wished for a simpler time before her and Luke ever got together. Back when it would have been easy to ignore the closed sign that hung in the door. She could burst in, and even though he might act irritated, his slight smile would always give away the fact that he was glad she had stopped by. She could beg for coffee, flirt shamelessly, and be on her merry way. Everything was easy then. Everything fit in a nice little box. Nothing complicated, nothing heart wrenching.

Everything was different now. She didn't just go to the diner anymore. She didn't drink his coffee. She didn't need to flirt. She and Luke were this ambiguous blob of emotions. They were by no means together but not quite apart. Lorelai felt so undefined lately and she knew it was mostly because of Luke. The notion really bothered her. She had never let relationships with men define her. She had always been fiercely independent. She never let guys get too close and now she knew exactly why.

Lorelai knew she should go in there and confront Luke about what kept happening between them. Their little game had been going on for over a month now. It had become a science, accidentally running into each other on purpose. Falling into the nearest bed, not saying anything, pretending they were fine with it. She couldn't do it anymore. But, she wasn't so sure she had the strength to say what she needed to say and not be distracted by him. The last thing she wanted was another _incident, _as she had started calling their encounters in her head. Being alone with him, with his apartment so close, was far too risky.

Plus, why was she the one who had to initiate a conversation between the two of them? Luke had to know things couldn't keep going on the way they were. Why wasn't he outside the Dragon Fly watching her? Why wasn't he the one trying to find the courage to go inside and talk to her?

"Lorelai," the sound of Luke's voice quickly startled her out of her thoughts.

_Oh crap._ Had she been staring this whole time? She must have been. He probably had seen her gawking at him, and had decided to come outside and see what the hell was wrong with her.

"Luke." Lorelai finally managed to choke out.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked concerned.

"I am fi…" Lorelai started to say but something stopped her from the automatic response. She finally snapped. "Actually, I am not fine. I am not fine or okay. I am far from okay. I am so far from okay. I don't even know what okay looks like anymore. I am probably alone in that. You seem perfectly okay. But, me not so much."

"Oh okay." Luke dumbfoundingly replied. He had a pretty good idea what she was talking about but he needed a little more information to be sure. Lorelai's little outburst hadn't really surprised him, but it had taken him a little bit off guard.

"No, Luke not okay. Were you not listening? You and I, we are so not fucking okay!" Lorelai's voice shook angrily.

"Lorelai, come on. We need to talk. I know that." Luke sighed. He futilely tried to soothe her, with the calmness in his voice.

"Damn right we need to talk. This has to stop. We have got to stop." Lorelai said with all the pent up frustration of the last month as fuel. He was being so calm. It was making her crazy!

"Well, then I guess there isn't really much to say. Is there?" Luke returned quickly. If Lorelai wanted completely out of what had been happening between them, he couldn't blame her. He knew he was in no position to ask anything of her. So really what was left to say? She deserved more then he had been willing to give. She was better off without him.

"Wait, what? That's it." Lorelai started angrily. "For like a month now we keep having unbelievable sex. But, then you don't say anything. So, I get scared and I don't say anything. Then it becomes expected that nothing is said. I feel empty, Luke. It's been killing me to be with you but not really be with you. After all that, all you have to say is that there really isn't much to say? That's bullshit. There is a ton to say. Like why the hell did we start doing this? Why can't we seem to stop? I know I hurt you and I know that's why we broke up... but why can't you forgive me? I mean isn't it clear I am sorry? Haven't I shown how pathetic I will be in order to keep you in my life some how…." Lorelai began to furiously wipe at her cheeks as uncontrollable tears fell down her face.

Luke looked into Lorelai's eyes and felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He was such a jerk. He was so caught up in his own inner turmoil, he hadn't truly been aware of what he had been doing to her. The things she had said, the look on her face, was too much for him. He realized how much he loved her, and how badly he had messed up everything by his inability to express well… anything. Forgiveness, love, pain, he couldn't find the words to articulate any of the emotions inside of him.

"I am sorry." Luke finally choked out. It wasn't much, but it was a start. "I am really sorry."

Lorelai looked into Luke's eyes and she knew he was being sincere. He really was sorry. But, did that really matter at this point? Her anger was subsiding and a deep sadness was now settling into the pit of her stomach. Suddenly she felt the overwhelming need to sit down. So she slowly lowered herself on the curb outside the diner. Her elbows rested on her knees and she put her face in her hands.

Luke instinctually sat down next to her. He looked over at her obviously in so much pain and he hated himself. Suddenly a sense of déjà vu rushed over him. How many times before had he and Lorelai sat side by side like they were right now. Usually they were having some kind of deep life changing conversation. Something told him that this would be another one of those times. He felt like if he didn't do something drastic this might end up being the last life altering conversation. This would be the conversation that put them out of each others lives for good. He didn't want that. It was absolutely the last thing he wanted. He had been killing them both, and for what? Because she had hurt him? Because he was stubborn? None of it seemed to matter anymore. She was beautiful. She was everything to him. He had pushed her past her breaking point. It wasn't her fault she wasn't the perfect illusion he had made her out to be. He finally understood that she was a real person just like he was. She made mistakes just like everyone else. She deserved so much more than he had been giving her. He just needed to fix everything, to go back in time, to be a different man, but he didn't know how.

Lorelai broke Luke out of his thoughts as she began to softly speak, her anger giving way to a sad surrendering tone, "I shouldn't have yelled. It took two of us to do… well…. Everything. I thought maybe I could wait this out, and eventually things would be different. It won't be and I should have known that. You have been perfectly clear. It's not your fault. I should go..."

Lorelai began to get up but Luke put his hand firmly on her shoulder.

"Don't go." Luke said his voice thick with emotion. His tone was so startling to Lorelai that she did what she was told and sat back down.

"You had every right to yell." Luke began. "I am so messed up. I broke up with you and I just couldn't… You are just… It was so hard. I think I went to Al's that day because I knew you went there and I was hoping…. Things just go so out of hand. Man I suck at talking, Lorelai. You know that. I just know I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave, but I just don't know how to stay anymore." Lorelai turned to look at Luke with glassy eyes.

"Good bye, Luke." She whispered placing a light kiss on his cheek. She made another attempt to stand up.

"Wait. Please, Lorelai." Luke said grasping for her hand but missing it.

Lorelai stood up and looked back down at Luke, "Luke, what's left to say?"

**_A/N 2: Wee bit of a cliffhanger….  
_**


	4. Be My Escape

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **Chapter 4 is here. Thanks for all the kind reviews. They are all so nice and I appreciate them so much. Please keep on doing what you are doing. It completely motivates me to write more. This chapter's title comes from a Reliant K song.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensue.

**Chapter 4 _"Be My Escape":_**

* * *

_**Previously:**_

"**Good bye, Luke." She whispered placing a light kiss on his cheek. She made another attempt to stand up.**

"**Wait. Please, Lorelai." Luke said grasping for her hand but missing it.**

**Lorelai stood up and looked back down at Luke, "Luke, what's left to say?"**

* * *

Luke stood up facing Lorelai. He reached for one of her arms and lightly grasped her wrist. His eyes met hers directly.

"Maybe nothing, Lorelai. Maybe it's too late. Maybe, I waited too long. But I have to try." Luke firmly replied.

"Okay." Lorelai said with a sigh. She had resigned herself to the fact that they were over. It was too late. However, she would let him say what he needed to say.

Lorelai looked at Luke in a way that said she was waiting for him to start talking.

"I suppose it's my turn." Luke said nervously.

"Well, you said you had to try. I'm here. I am willing to listen. If you have nothing to say I can go."

"No, don't go. I'm sorry. I am not good at this. I just need you to know I do forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes. Look at what a mess I made of us. It was unfair of me to be so unforgiving. I was so happy with you. You make me so happy, Lorelai. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I thought it had, I reacted badly. When I saw you that day at Al's, I just knew I needed to talk to you again." Luke said quickly.

"We haven't really done much talking, Luke." Lorelai returned.

"I know, but we can now if you want. Whatever you want, Lorelai. All talking all the time, I would do that. I am in." Luke's voice came as close to pleading as Lorelai had ever heard it.

Lorelai wanted to believe him but something was holding her back. Would he be saying any of this if she hadn't said she was done? She knew deep down that she trusted Luke. She knew he was being sincere. But what about when all the dust settled, would he still feel the same. She couldn't be sure and a million doubts and insecurities were clouding her head.

"You said that to me once upon a time and it didn't really turn out to be the case. You can't just be in when you're too scared to be out." Lorelai sadly noted.

"Isn't that what you did?" Luke asked desperately trying to get her to see his side of things. "You never said you were in till that day… Till Doose's. I mean you have to see where I am coming from. It's not like that. "

"You are right it is what I did, and it cost me everything." Lorelai whispered.

Lorelai didn't know what she was doing. Luke was saying things to her that she had longed to hear since they first broke up. _He was in, he wanted to talk, and she made him happy._ But for some reason it wasn't enough. Something was missing. He was saying more than he had ever said before but she needed something else.

"I really need to go, Luke." Lorelai said her voice cracking. This was too much and too little all at once. She could feel herself in the beginning stages of a break down. She knew if she stood there one more minute she would start crying. She was about to start crying the kind of tears that didn't stop. Not light tears. Not the ones she could brush away with the back of her hands. She was a second away from crying until she couldn't breathe. The kind of crying you feel in your stomach. The kinds of tears that make you feel hung over, heady, and sick. She needed to get home. She knew she had precious seconds before the preverbal flood gates opened. She didn't want him to see her like that. Not now. Not over him… _them_… she couldn't show him she was completely broken. She wanted to maintain some sense of dignity. She knew one more minute looking in to his eyes and she'd be gone. She knew he was trying but his trying didn't make her need to leave any less strong.

Luke saw the look in her eyes. Heard the desperation in her breathing and didn't want to be the cause of the sound anymore. So he did what he thought was for the best. He let go of his grasp on her wrist. He let her go. The night air was thick and foggy and by the time Luke knew what was happening, Lorelai had disappeared into the mist.

* * *

Lorelai's stared intently at her digital clock its big red numbers said it was 1:34 in the morning. She squinted at the clock and she was almost positive the clock was some how mocking her. _Still not asleep _the stupid clock seemed to scream. She had left Luke outside of his diner two hours ago. Well to be specific it was 2 hours and 17 minutes ago. All she wanted was sleep. She wanted to dream about anything but him. She wanted to forget everything. She longed for it to be a new day. Her throat was dry. Her eyes were swollen. Her head was heavy. The tears had finally subsided.

Yet, she was no closer to sleep then she had been when her head first hit the pillow. The red light blinked once more and it was 1:35. It was official her alarm clock, and time in general, were mocking her. She hated them both.

Suddenly her attention was torn away from her clock. She was now focused on the sounds emanating from her open window. The rustling of the trees was being joined by a slightly louder crackling noise. Her heart began to beat more rapidly. It sounded like something was outside. She stayed still in her bed and waited for any indication that their might be something outside. When it seemed like the noise was a fluke she violently turned away from the alarm clock.

She dragged her comforter over her head and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She made herself a mental promise to not let her eyes open again. She tried to think of the color black. She tried to think of sheep. She tried to think of anything but Luke.

Suddenly her eyes popped open; it was if she was anticipating something. As she regained her focus she began to hear a loud persistent noise from downstairs. It took her a second to realize that someone was knocking at her door.

She quickly got out of bed. She grabbed her robe off the back of her door and slipped it on. As Lorelai made her way down the stairs she wondered who it could be. She supposed it could be anyone at the door. It could be someone here in the middle of the night to tell her horrible news. Or some scary killer man… who knocks before he kills his victims. It could be anyone, but in her heart she knew exactly who it was. When she reached the door and opened it she found out that her heart was right. It was him.

"Luke." Lorelai uttered.

"I couldn't just let things end like this. I mean I know I didn't say everything I needed to say." Luke began as soon as Lorelai said his name.

"Luke it's almost 2 in the morning." Lorelai rubbed her eyes. She leaned against her doorway as Luke spoke.

"I know. This is completely inappropriate. I am not this guy. I just couldn't let the night end like this. I just couldn't let you walk away." Luke said seriously.

"Okay." Lorelai responded too exhausted to say much else.

"I mean damn it Lorelai. I have fought a lot harder for things that were worth much less."

Lorelai smiled involuntary. Her brain willed her to be skeptical. However, all Luke's presence at her home seemed to do was overwhelm her with a sense of possibility, and at the late hour she was too tired to fight it. Earlier, she had wished that just once he would be the one to come to her. Now here he was.

"You have?" Lorelai tentatively asked.

"Of course, I mean you are worth it. Anything... Everything... Whatever it takes. I always knew that. I did. I let my own crap , my own issues make me forget." Luke declared.

"I'm worth it." Lorelai echoed. It was close to what Lorelai wanted to hear but it still some how fell short.

"You are and this, _us…_ we just can't be over. We just can't. You're it. I completely fucked up but that doesn't change the fact that you are perfect for me." Luke continued. He was working himself up. He was practically ranting. All he knew was he couldn't let her go.

"That's the thing Luke. I'm so far from perfect its not even funny. I am the one that screwed this up the first time. I completely screwed up not telling you about Chris. I know that. It's just I can't promise I won't mess up again. I mean I can try, I would try. I would try my best. But I know better than anyone the sometimes your best falls short. And when that happens, if that happens, I don't think I could take you leaving again. I couldn't take doing what we have been doing, again. I know I couldn't. It's too hard. It hurts too much. I just don't have it in me." Lorelai emphatically stated.

"I can't loose you again, either. I won't let it happen, Lorelai. I won't. I know you aren't perfect. No one is, but you are perfect for me. You are." Luke said with a certainty he didn't know he possessed.

"I want to believe you, Luke. I do. It would be easy to believe you. But…" Lorelai warily said.

"Then, do it." Luke cut her off.

"You should go." Lorelai said suddenly. She put her face in her hands. She was so damned tired.

"But…" Luke started ready for another rant. He was ready to do anything to make her understand.

"It's so late. This is so much. I have to work tomorrow. I need sleep. I just can't right now. I am not blowing you off… I just… Please understand." Lorelai willed. Her eyes pleaded with him.

"I do, and I will go." Luke returned looking at the exhausted woman in front of him." But this conversation is by no means over. I need you in my life and I will try…. I will never stop trying."

"Good night, Luke." Lorelai said softly.

Lorelai gave Luke another light kiss on the cheek. As they both pulled away, their eyes locked and instinctually, before either of them knew what was happening, their lips met. The kiss was immediately intense. They kissed hungrily, breathlessly. Luke's hands were in Lorelai's hair, there bodies were pressed together. Lorelai's hands were on Luke's chest grabbing his flannel shirt. Then suddenly Lorelai pushed on Luke's chest and took a big step back. She was now completely inside of her house.

"I can't… we can't… How does this keep happening? You are like a magnet." Lorelai breathlessly rambled.

"Sorry." Luke breathed. "Sorry. I will see you tomorrow." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"Okay." Lorelai said quietly. She watched Luke walk off her porch and through her front yard. She put one hand to her lips and concentrated on the burning sensation she felt there. _Just when she thought she was out, he pulls her back in…._

As Luke walked away from the Gilmore residence he bit his lip. He would fix this. He had to fix it. Nothing mattered but her. He needed to make this right. He needed to stop focusing on the past, and give himself a chance at being truly happy. He knew the only way that would ever happen is if she was in his life. Lorelai was his happiness personified.


	5. Pressing On

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **Chapter 5, well this chapter was a long time coming. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated. Oh and if anyone gets the English Muffin Reference in this chapter you are my new best friend simple as that, ha ha.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensues.

**Chapter 5 _"Pressing On":_**

"_Hey Lorelai, It's uh Luke. We didn't really finish things last night. I just wanted to talk. I mean not now, not on your machine or anything. I mean in person. I was wondering if I could see you soon, hopefully tonight. So call me back, if that's okay with you. Or even if it's not, call me back and let me know that too... Man, I suck at leaving messages. Please don't let the idiotic tone of this message effect your decision to call me back in anyway. Yeah okay, Bye."_

Lorelai had just gotten home from the Dragon Fly and was already listening to Luke's message for the second time. Lorelai smiled and inwardly agreed that Luke really was horrible at leaving messages. She liked it though. She always had. Her mind began to wander to the rambling messages he had left the summer before, right after they first kissed. If she wasn't already one hundred percent certain about them together those messages sealed the deal. She just knew that if any other guy had left her message after message rambling and stumbling her reaction would have been different. She would have thought any other guy was too eager, kind of weird, and slightly creepy. But with Luke it was adorable and endearing and it just made her heart swell more for the man. So, with the ninety nine thousands nine hundred and ninety nine positive things Luke had going for him, those messages were the millionth and final thing telling her he was special and she should go for it.

His voice, his messages, still made her heart swell. However, now there was a tinge of something painful mixed in with the warm fuzzy feelings. Things were so different now. She was beginning to hate that it always came back to the fact that things had changed.

She contemplated calling him back. She still didn't know what to say. She had been trying to figure out what to do about him all day. She was at such a loss that she actually decided to seek out some advice. She had talked to Sookie at the Inn. She had called Rory on her way home. She was in desperate need of some outside perspective on this whole Luke thing.

They both had said basically the same thing. Give Luke another chance. Now they didn't come right out and say that. They had both tried to stay very neutral. But, Lorelai knew them both too well. Rory and Sookie had both gone on and on about all the good qualities that Luke possessed. It was pretty clear to Lorelai where they stood on the subject.

"_Everyone makes mistakes, but you know deep down Luke is such a good guy. I mean everything he has done for you over the years. Hell, what he has done for me…" _Rory had said.

"_Everyone has rough patches. You screwed up, he screwed up. If he is giving you an opportunity to start fresh well….." _Sookie had trailed off.

"_If you can't do this Mom, then this is really the end. The end of you two forever, is that what you want?" _Rory had sadly asked.

"_I guess you need to ask yourself, can you really picture yourself being with anyone else?"_ Sookie wondered.

Both of the conversations had ended in the same way.

"_In the end this is really something you need to decide for yourself."_

She knew they were both right. This was her decision. But so much was at stake, her heart, her sanity… and well those two things were big enough.

The inside of her head was like a miniature game of ping pong. Her thoughts were back and forth, back and forth.

He's a good man. _Bounce._ He broke your heart. _Bounce. _You broke his too._ Bounce._ It might happen again._ Bounce._ You can't live without him._ Bounce._ These last few months have been hell._ Bounce._ The months without him completely were worse._ Bounce._ It's a matter of having respect for yourself, of how much you are willing to take._ Bounce_. You're still in love with him._ Bounce._ He has never said he loves you._ Bounce._ But you have a pretty good idea he does._ Bounce_.

From side to side, the tiny ball jumped in her head. It freaked her out that the anti Luke voice in her head sounded suspiciously like Emily. With that last terrifying thought she shook her head in an attempt to clear it.

She couldn't take it anymore. If she didn't know what to do now, she never would. Sometimes you just have to dive right in. So, she picked up the phone and quickly dialed a number. Maybe, hearing his voice would make something clearer.

"Luke's," Luke answered on the other end of the line.

Lorelai stayed silent. Temporarily losing the ability to speak.

"Hello." Luke said slightly agitated, "Anyone there?"

"Uhh, hi. It's um Lorelai..." Lorelai barely got the words out. She mentally slapped herself for being so nervous. So much for the idea of knowing what to say when she heard him.

"Oh hi, "Luke softly replied. His tone completely changed when he realized who was on the other line.

"So I got your message." Lorelai started.

"You did."

"Um yeah and if you still want to, um talk. I'd be willing to…" Lorelai trailed off.

"Whatever you want, whenever you want." Luke said swiftly.

"My house, ten minutes." Lorelai said quickly. She was not going to give herself time to talk herself out of talking.

"I will be there."

"Okay, Luke this doesn't necessarily mean… I just promised you we'd finish talking, and well a promise is a promise." Lorelai added, giving herself a different kind of out.

"I understand completely. Oh and Lorelai…" Luke began.

"Yes, Luke." Lorelai nervously responded.

"Thank you." And with that Luke hung up the phone.

Lorelai was left a little stunned on the other end of the line. Had she really just called Luke and told him to come over in 10 minutes? And what exactly was he thanking her for? And what the hell was she going to say to him? What was she going to do? _Ahhhhhh! _

* * *

Lorelai quickly realized ten minutes was not a very long amount of time. 

"I don't have time for anything." She screamed to no one in the middle of her living room.

She wanted to shower. She wanted to change. She wanted to clean up her messy house. She wanted to down a bottle of Bacardi. She wanted to drink a whole gallon of coffee.

Lorelai realized she really only had enough time to do one at most of the things on her mental list before Luke came over.

"Ten minutes what the hell was I thinking. _That's not even enough time to have an English Muffin_." Lorelai would have laughed at her reference if she wasn't in such a panicked state.

"Now, it's really more like seven minutes. Luke will be here in seven minutes. Seven minutes. Shit." Lorelai declared as she paced the length of her living room.

She looked at her messy coffee table and began to haphazardly straighten up. Seven minutes flew by, and she had just finished bringing a second round of to go containers to the trash when she heard a knock at her door. She momentarily froze. She couldn't move. She had never been scared of the sound of a knock until this very moment.

She took a deep breath and willed herself to move. She was a little surprised that her body actually listened to her. She made her way to the door and opened it. For the second time in a twenty four hour period Luke was on the other side of the threshold.

"Hi." Lorelai breathed.

"Hi." Luke returned. He looked as nervous as she felt. Some how the fact that she could tell he was nervous didn't alleviate her nerves, it just multiplied them.

They stared at each other for an undeterminable about of time before Lorelai spoke again.

"Oh I'm sorry. Come in." Lorelai said with a nervous laugh.

"Um, thanks." Luke said as they made their way inside.

"Do you want something to drink? Water or something?" Lorelai asked.

"No, I am good." Luke replied.

"Want to sit? Or is this a standing thing? You know someone once told me that some conversations lend themselves to sitting down while others to standing up. Then again I guess sitting down denotes a serious conversation. Like people always say, 'sit down' and then proceed to give you the worst news of your life. It's always like 'let's sit down' followed by, I'm sorry but I kicked your dog, war has broken out, and I lost your tiny little baby…." Lorelai began to ramble.

"Lorelai we can sit or stand whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me." Luke finally interrupted.

"Okay, I say we sit down." Lorelai said quickly.

"Okay."

Luke and Lorelai both sat down on opposite sides of her couch.

"Maybe you sit all the way on that end and I sit way over here." Lorelai said as she scooted to the far end of the couch. "Our lips seem to have a mind of their own when they are too close to each other."

Lorelai's cheeks began to flush as she thought of the kiss her and Luke had shared last night. It was so intense. Things with Luke seemed to be perpetually intense these days.

"Whatever you want, Lorelai," Luke reiterated.

Luke noticed the blush in Lorelai's cheeks at the mention of their kiss. She was right about one thing their lips certainly did have a mind of their own. Luke didn't know how he could be expected to be that close to something as amazing as Lorelai's lips and not do something about it. It was one thing before they got together, but now he knew exactly what he was missing. He forced his mind back to the present. It was probably a good thing that they were sitting so far apart. If he ever wanted to kiss her again he needed to talk to her and try and fix things. He needed to focus at the situation in front of him, and not on the incredibleness of Lorelai's lips.

"Did I just jinx this whole thing? I mean with the whole sitting down equals bad thing." Lorelai turned her head quickly to look at Luke as she spoke.

Luke just gave Lorelai his patented _I have no idea what to say to that_ look It was a look that he had been giving Lorelai for years.

"This is weird. Isn't it?" Lorelai asked. "I mean like an appointment to talk. I mean shouldn't this have happened naturally or something. Admit it, its kind of weird. It's like you have to talk right now! Like a weird pressure."

"Yeah it is a little weird." Luke agreed.

"So maybe we don't do it." Lorelai said absently.

"You don't want to talk anymore." Luke asked suddenly terrified Lorelai had just ended everything in a very odd manner. They had kissed last night. She had called him back. He had some hope about things. But she was really freaking him out.

"I'm just saying maybe this isn't the way to do this." Lorelai rephrased.

"Then what is the way to do this?" Luke warily asked.

"I don't know." Lorelai admitted.

"Oh okay." Luke said. Wasn't he supposed to come over here and talk to her? This whole thing seemed to be spinning rapidly out of his control.

"I mean I guess I called you over here but I still really don't know what to say to you." Lorelai confessed. "So much has happened, is happening. It's a lot too take in."

"You need more time to process?" Luke asked the words sounding eerily familiar.

"I guess you could say that." Lorelai replied. "I don't know, Luke. One minute I think things could be so simple if I would just let them be."

Luke smiled at that.

"But, then I remember everything that's happened and I realize nothing is simple."

And then Luke's face fell.

"Well, what if I talk and you just listen. Then if you still don't know we can come up with something else." Luke asked hesitantly.

The last thing Luke wanted to do was push Lorelai. On the other hand, he knew Lorelai and he was afraid if they didn't talk right now they never would.

"I guess that would be okay." Lorelai conceded. She saw the pleading look in his eyes and realized that was why they were here in the first place. She didn't need to decide anything right that second. She had called him so he could talk, so she should let him.

"Okay." Luke said triumphantly. He was trying to gather up the courage to tell her that he was in love with her. He knew it was the one thing he never got to say the night before. He knew it was the most honest thing about him and he had never told her. He didn't know why it was such a scary thing to say out loud but he knew if he ever wanted another chance with her he needed to tell her.

He made the mistake of looking directly into Lorelai's eyes before he began his confession. She looked absolutely terrified. Suddenly he became worried that if he told her he loved her she would bolt, like a horse that got spooked. Not that Lorelai was a horse but still he needed to make sure she stuck around and heard him out.

He talked himself out of an 'I love you' and ended up saying, "I don't want to lose you."

_**To be continued….**_


	6. Till Kingdom Come

**All That's Left….**

**Authors Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed . This is the last chapter so please let me know what you think. It has been interesting to write. I hope you enjoy. The title comes from a Coldplay song.

**Premise: **Luke and Lorelai unexpectedly cross paths after 4 months apart and all kinds of chaos ensue.

**Chapter 6 _"Till Kingdom Come":_**

"I don't want to lose you." Luke words floated in the air of Lorelai's living room.

"See that is just it. " Lorelai started. "You don't want to lose me? Now, after all that's happened you don't want to lose me. I never wanted to be lost, Luke. I didn't. I may have messed up but I thought I had made it abundantly clear that I didn't want to be lost."

Lorelai was so frustrated. She just loved the man. How did he not know that by now? How did he not know that she never wanted to be lost? She knew that it wasn't entirely fair to be upset about it. She had never actually said the words to him before but he should know. She wouldn't have put herself through all of this for someone she didn't love. Plus, he had never said it either. In fact in all he had been saying lately that was the one thing that he had failed to mention.

"You did." Luke returned. "Things just got so messed up."

"Luke, I am so tired of being here… In this mess, you and I screwing up everything that started out so good. I always had this sinking suspicion that taking that leap from friendship to something more with you would end up badly. And look at the last four months…." Lorelai trailed off.

"So, what are you saying?" Luke asked. He was afraid of where Lorelai was going. He wanted absolute clarity about what she meant.

"I don't know. I don't know what I am saying. I just keep trying to figure out what all of this means. Until recently you have always been this rock in my life, Luke."

Luke let out a _'yeah right' _kind of sigh. He knew better than anyone what a disappointment he had been to her lately.

"No, Luke you have been a rock. You have always been there for me, and for Rory. I never had to question you or your motivations. But now there is a part of me that does have questions. It's weird, I don't know how to approach it because I am not used to having to ask you those kinds of questions. I used to just know."

"Lorelai you can ask me whatever you want." Luke said slightly confused.

"It's more complicated then that." Lorelai quickly returned.

"Well, what can I do to make it less complicated?"

"It isn't even really fair to ask anything of you, Luke. You and I both have made mistakes. I did the same thing to you that you did to me. I put you on this pedestal, but the truth is we are both just human. We both make mistakes."

After Lorelai finished speaking something clicked in her head. Everything she had just said made so much sense. She could feel some of the fear surrounding the whole situation dissipating as she took the pressure off both herself and Luke to be perfect.

"I think maybe now that we both know that, things could be different. I now know that we will both make mistakes, and I also know that you and I is what I want." Luke articulated.

"Tell me, if we were to try this all again. What do you see happening?" Lorelai quietly asked. She wanted to be with him. He wanted to be with her. All of a sudden everything else began to feel so self inflicted.

"I see us being together again, really together." Luke answered sincerely.

"Like before?" Lorelai questioned. Her tone wasn't as pleasant as Luke would have liked it to be. Lorelai still had her questions. She had loved how they were before everything went wrong but she needed more now.

"Like, whatever you want it to be. God Lorelai, I don't know what you want me to say. I am not good at this talking thing. You know that. I will take whatever you are willing to give. I don't know how else to show you how much I love you." Luke was so caught up in the moment he hadn't realized what had had finally admitted.

"You just did." Lorelai said with a smile. He was in love with her. She thought she knew that before but actually hearing the words gave her the courage to try again. She loved him and he loved her. She could be happy if she just let their past mistakes go.

"I did." Luke asked bewildered.

"You did." Lorelai crawled closer to him on the couch and pressed her lips quickly but firmly to his. Luke was a little taken a back at first but then returned the kiss.

As she backed away she whispered to him. "I love you too."

"You do?" Luke asked breathless.

"I do and I want to be with you. I was scared. I still am. I meant it when I said I can't lose you again. No more breaking up. No more anything else but us." Lorelai said seriously.

"I have no intention of being lost or being anything but us." Luke sincerely replied.

"Good, you know Captain and Tennille always said _love will keep us together_." Lorelai quipped.

"Well, if the Captain says it, it must be true." Luke said with a laugh as he leaned in and kissed Lorelai again.

"What about Tennille, her word isn't as good as his?" Lorelai asked in between kisses.

"Okay fine, Tennille too." Luke said as he took Lorelai's lower lip between his.

"Luke," Lorelai breathed as she placed a series of light kisses on his lips. "Lets go upstairs."

"Great Idea, "Luke returned.

He scooped Lorelai up into his arms and began to carry her up to her room.

Lorelai giggled and then began to speak in her best southern belle accent, "Why Luke Danes, you big strong man you. I feel like a princess."

"Don't make me put you down." Luke laughed.

"But Luke, _Just stop, 'cause I really love you, stop, I'll be thinking of you,  
look in my heart and let love keep us together…_" Lorelai half sang, half laughed.

"It's a really good thing we just reached your room, because otherwise that little display would have made me drop you." Luke said placing Lorelai down on her bed.

"It is a really good thing." Lorelai said in her most seductive tone.

She took Luke by his flannel shirt and pulled him down on top of her. Their mouths fused together and they slowly began to shed their clothes. They took their time with every aspect of their love making. They explored every inch of each other. There was no rush, no urgency. They were really together and there was no threat of it going away. Every move was sweet and deliberate. Every touch was slow and prolonged. They both knew they really had each other, they had time, and that certainty was a whole new kind of pleasure for the both of them.

* * *

Finally exhausted and satisfied Lorelai climbed off of Luke and settled next to him. Luke had one arm securely around her, and she rested her head on his chest. She was so happy. Luke was really there with her and he wasn't going anywhere. They could talk, he could stay. Things were gloriously different. Lorelai began to absently trace her finger along Luke's chest. She felt completely content and she didn't think it was possible to be any happier than she was at that very moment.

After a few minutes of post coital bliss Luke spoke.

"Lorelai," he began quietly.

"Yes." Lorelai said happily.

"I just want you to know that I meant everything I have said to you in these last couple of days. I am so sorry for everything that has happened. I love you, and I don't want to lose you, and I am in. All of those things really mean the same thing when you think about it. They mean that I want you for the rest of my life."

"Oh Luke," Lorelai said touched.

"Let me finish, before I chicken out. Maybe this is crazy. If it is we can pretend later I didn't say it. I just feel like if we love each other, and we have been through all this stuff, and here we are still in love… Still wanting to be together…. Still wanting that middle… That must mean something." Luke finished nervously.

"It means everything." Lorelai reassured.

"Good then, Marry me." Luke said quickly.

"What?" Lorelai asked stunned.

"I love you and I never want to be without you again. I just don't see the point in waiting. Marry me." Luke said with a confidence he had never felt before.

"We just got back together." Lorelai looked down at her watch. "Like it's been about an hour."

"Okay I understand, never mind." Luke said embarrassed. "Like, I said lets just pretend I didn't say it. "

"Yes." Lorelai said interrupting Luke as he spoke.

"What?" Luke questioned.

"I said yes. I will marry you." Lorelai confirmed.

"You will." Luke asked happily.

"Yeah, I will. You are right it is a little crazy, but so am I. It has taken us so long to get back to this place. I don't want to waste anymore time. I want you forever. Let's get married." Lorelai said getting more and more excited as went on.

"I don't have a ring." Luke said suddenly.

"I don't care about the ring. Do I have you?" Lorelai asked seriously.

"Of course you have me. I am not going anywhere, ever again." Luke firmly stated.

"Then that is all I need." Lorelai said placing a tiny kiss on Luke's chest.

"What a coincidence you are all I need too." Luke said with a smile as he kissed the top of Lorelai's head.

"That was pretty sappy." Lorelai laughed. "Luke Danes can be a big old sap. Who knew?"

"Yeah, right after I said it in my head I was like that was pretty lame." Luke declared.

"At least you can admit it." Lorelai loved being able to joke around with him, again. "If you have the urge to write me poetry, please don't."

"Oh jeez."

"Wait, I have a poem for you." Lorelai began.

"Lorelai…." Luke warned. Knowing exactly where she was going.

"There once was a man from Nantucket…" Lorelai started.

"Lorelai, stop."

"You are no fun." Lorelai pouted.

"That's not what you said 10 minutes ago." Luke laughed.

"Dirty!" Lorelai returned. She took a breath and then continued. "So we are really getting married."

"We are really getting married." Luke reiterated.

"So I am an engaged woman."

Lorelai smiled at that particular thought.

"Yes you are."

"And you are my betrothed." Lorelai went on.

"If you think you are going to start calling me that…" Luke began his tone serious.

"This is Lucas, my betrothed…" Lorelai started to tease.

"Lorelai…" Lorelai loved it when Luke said her name like it was some kind of warning.

"Lorelai Danes. It has a nice ring to it." That smile she was wearing didn't seem to be going away anytime soon.

"It certainly does." Luke confirmed. Luke couldn't seem to stop smiling either.

They sat in compatible silence both soaking in everything that had just happened. Luke and Lorelai were both about to doze off when Lorelai snuggled deeper into Luke's chest and spoke.

"Hey Luke," Lorelai said sleepily.

"Yes, Lorelai," Luke returned in a similarly sleepy voice.

"When you do look for a ring, try and remember the words princess cut."

Luke laughed and held Lorelai tighter in his arms. "Okay, you got it."

"I most certainly do." Lorelai said dreamily. "I need to tell Rory…"

"Tomorrow," Luke whispered.

"Tomorrow," Lorelai confirmed as she let herself fall asleep.

_**The End!**_


End file.
